Posts Tagged ‘pointless products’

I work at Budgens

Posted 15 Feb 2011 — by cheersphilip
Category Stories

I work at Budgens and on my days off thats where I do my shopping.

I stalk around the isles with my spiky hair, trying to pretend that i don;t know exactly where each and every single item is. My glasses are thick, but not as thick as my skin, when the kids come in after school. They think I can;t see them sneaking a chocolate bar here, a bottle of booze there. so smart. I case the joint as if i don;t work here, trying to get inside the skin of the Valued Customer. i try to see it from their eyes – are the value digital cameras on a suitable display stand? Is the South American white wine on special offer visible to the passer-by? Are all the items labelled? Even the soon-to-be-discontinued lines?

What I do makes this place a more effective selling machine. I care about what I do, and if the Tesco down the road care about their place as much as I care about mine, then I’ll eat a thirty-six piece floor puzzle, suitable for ages 12-36 months (only £2 while stocks last)

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The Final Word on Games

Posted 31 Oct 2010 — by cheersphilip
Category Rant, thought

Okay, so I totally backed out of the promise I made to myself of writing a little piece about how computer games might be useful or even good for you.

What happened was, I got too involved in playing damn games. I try not to beat myself up about this, but the fact is that I have now spent an amount of time playing games that, in retrospect, I would rather have spent doing something else.

I have nothing to show for my game playing other than tiredness and a nagging feeling that I will never get that time back.

I enjoy games while I’m playing them. I think. But there are other things that I enjoy more, surely?

Whilst writing the last post, Notes on Addiction, I got to the point of talking about making games, so that’s what I did – i downloaded a couple of games creators – http://www.delicious.com/cheersphilip/creator - and they were good.

However, and this is really the crux of the matter, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with them.

I thought about doing something ‘educational’ or based around the school I work in, but that is just lazy thinking and does not stand up to scrutiny by the simple question ‘why?’ So I shelved that as well.

The final word is that, yes, games are interesting and, yes, they can be an amusing diversion for a while, but when you’ve got as many things to do as I have – and now that I look at them, I think ‘these are interesting, cool things that I’ve wanted to do for ages’ – then I’m probably best off doing them first.

Word.

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Country Lane Defence!

Posted 19 Feb 2010 — by cheersphilip
Category Ideas, Uncategorized

Don’t know why, but yesterday I couldn’t help coming up with a solution to the common problem of defending a country lane from potential attackers, including tanks.

Rather cunning, i thought. And economical, too.

Let’s just hope that society doesn’t crumble and that we’ll never have to use these booby traps. Hmm, might just make sure that crow scarer is handy, though.

Cheers,

Philip

Click on the image to see it bigger

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Begining to Start to Think

Posted 21 Oct 2009 — by cheersphilip
Category Ideas, Rant, thought

Okay, so i don’t feel ‘like’ other inventors. There are websites. there are clubs. but they don’t feel right.

The world, IMHO, does not need more electric carving knives or rotary toothbrushes. How about products that help people learn or, better yet, help people want to learn? I came up with an idea a while back for a bookmark that will help people doing research – books, dissertations etc. That felt right, or at least along the right lines.

Somehow i want to help people open up their lives a little bit, engage with the scary, uncomfortable but real world. Where i am at the moment it seems like that means less products, not more.

I feel like a politician proposing the dissolution of all governments. And thats not going to be an extremely popular idea. In fact, its scary and uncomfortable.

Play is another thing. Not idle play that is just a distraction, but real play that is inspiring and full of wonder. That, i guess, is why i came up with the marble game.

Learning is the same – not consuming factoids at an ever-increasing rate, but real, inspiring, wonderful learning that helps you look at the world in new and unexpected ways.

I’m not sure what this all adds up to yet, but the direction feels right. As long as i can stay away from this being simply an artistic or aesthetic concept. If i can put this into practice, then that will feel right, to me.

Cheers,

Philip

PS: If, for some reason, you do not have full motor control of your arm or wrist, as many people do not, then electric carving knives are a good, helpful product. Thing is; for what proportion of electric carving knife owners is this the case?

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Meeting of two worlds

Posted 12 Oct 2009 — by cheersphilip
Category Rant

 Saving the world. All i can do at this stage is small things, even though systemic change is needed.

The difficulty is with getting out of the ‘western’ mindset. This is the thought process that leads you come up with stuff like USB food.

anathema to this is the, still western, idea that you can save the world by supporting one of millions of groups of activists, none of whom are coordinated enough to do more than cosmetically alter the way we conduct our lives. (pauses to refill cynicism drip).

I’d like to wake people up to the wider context within which we exist in the world, so that the above links become unnecessary. Of course, its hypocrisy again, as that would require me to lead by example and not use anything, such as a blog, that required electricity.

So you see my dilemma…

Still, the intention to change the world is still there. lets hope something comes of it!

Cheers,

Philip

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